


take now, your son

by cinnamontoastcronch



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Dean is In Over His Head, Episode: s14e19 Jack in the Box, Gen, Heavy Angst, Hurt No Comfort, I'm Sorry, Jack Feels, Jack Needs a Hug, Poor Jack
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-20
Updated: 2019-04-20
Packaged: 2020-01-20 15:17:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 576
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18527695
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cinnamontoastcronch/pseuds/cinnamontoastcronch
Summary: 14x20 speculationDean and Jack watch the dogwood blossoms fall.





	take now, your son

Jack kneels before Dean. 

“I understand.” He says, with a sincerity that makes the gun in Dean's hand waver. 

He _does_ understand, and it makes it that much harder.

“I don’t want this.” Dean says, a few words short of his voice breaking. He doesn’t want to do this. He doesn’t want Mary to be dead. He doesn’t want Jack kneeling in front of him like an offering.

_Take, now, your son…_

Dean watches the corners of Jack’s mouth dance between smiling and grimacing. A contentment that he can’t begin to understand how Jack has.

_Your only son, whom you love…_

Dean feels the gun slip in his hand from holding it too tightly. He watches Jacks baby soft hair blow gently in the breeze of the open graveyard. Remembers how it felt when he held the kid against his chest.

_Take him to the region of Moriah._

Dean and Jack watch the dogwood blossoms fall to the ground. It's the only sound besides the baited breath of the sacrifice and the executioner. 

“You’ll have to do it quickly.” Jack says matter of factly. “Before Sam and Cas find us.”

Dean swallows the sick building in his throat. “Yeah.”

_Sacrifice him there…_

“Dean?” Jack asks. “Can you just tell me…”

Dean doesn’t speak.

“Do you know where I’ll go?” Jack’s hands are in his laps, fiddling with the loose threads on his jacket sleeves. Shaking, but he won’t acknowledge it. Doesn’t want to be remembered by fear.

Dean tightens his jaw.

“I don’t think heaven has a place for me, anymore…” He almost laughs. 

“I don’t know.”

_...as a burnt offering on a mountain…_

Jack smiles. “That’s okay.” 

“None of this is okay.” Dean grits out, breaking the startling eye contact with Jack for just a moment. 

Jack cranes his neck to look up at Dean.

_“Sammy, close your eyes.”_

“I know it’s easier to be angry.” He says. “You can still be angry at me.”

“Kid, stop—“ 

“It’s okay.” Jack says. “It’s what I want.”

Dean shakes his head. “Shut up. No one wants this.” The gun wavers. _I don’t want this_ , is leftunsaid.

“I don’t belong anywhere, Dean.” Jack looks at the ground. He lets a shiver pass through his shoulders. “I never have. I tried, but… I was never supposed to exist at all, was I?”

Dean steadies his breath.

“Maybe… maybe I’ll just disappear.” Jack whispers, with a sense of relief that makes Dean feel physically ill.

_Take your son, whom you love—_

“DEAN!”

Dean does not turn his head at the sound of his brother screaming from the woods behind him. He knows how this ends. He doesn’t want Sam to see it happen.

“Tell Sam it was me.” Jack says. “Tell him you couldn’t stop me.”

_Take him to the region of moriah._

Deans shakes his head.

“I won’t ruin what’s left of your family.” Jack insists. 

_Sacrifice him there—_

“Do it, now.” Jack says, voice beginning to break.

_Sacrifice him as a burnt offering—_

Jack doesn’t hear the gun cock. Only the dogwood blossoms falling to the ground.

_Sacrifice your only son, whom you love—_

Sam doesn't hear the gun cock, only the trees rushing past him at a rate he can't comprehend. 

_Sacrifice your son--_

Cas doesn't hear the gun cock. Only the stillness of the air in the empty graveyard.

_Sacrifice him at Moriah--_

Dean hears the gun cock with startling clarity.

(Jack doesn't hear it fire.)

**Author's Note:**

> the 14x20 promo broke into my home and took everything I own
> 
> comments make my day! ♡
> 
> ~Cereal


End file.
